Why do I need a Heart Sister?
I asked myself that question a long time ago. Even before the book Heart Sisters by Natalie Chambers Snapp was released.
Growing up I was the tough girl who could do it all on her own. My formative years were marked by abuse. They were filled with situations that forced me to be hard and grow up way to fast.
I know I am not the only one with a disabling past. I have met and overlooked many other precious women on my broken road.
When I look back on that life now and face the scars it produced I no longer feel angry or embarrassed anymore. It’s what makes me who I am and sisters, God can do much with very little. Even a scarred up girl like me who hasn’t always played nice with others.
However, I think that some scars show up in the way we treat people and the way we perceive others are treating us.
Ever the survivor; I never seemed to let true friendship root itself in the garden of my life. No way. I avoided that like it was a snake ready to strike with its poisonous venom. After all, everyone hurts someone sometime or another and I sure wasn’t going to go looking for any of it. Anyone else ever felt that way? It’s a pretty lonely place to be.
I know, your shocked, right?
But, I have much to rejoice about! That girl with the scarred up heart? She died when she met Jesus. He gave her a new life and a new heart. That’s the way it is with Him, isn’t it? When the human heart softens enough to allow Him to take up residence there, it becomes a pretty soft place. A much safer, lighter and compassionate place.
One that sees others and not just self. A heart that responds. Isn’t that beautiful?
Because, ” We are all broken. Every last one of us.” ~ Natalie Chambers Snapp
And the truth is that we ALL need Heart Sisters. So, why are we as women so quick to close ourselves off to it? To refuse to respond to the nudging of the Holy Spirit? To cling to our spouses or children and make them assume the position of our Heart Sisters? My husband has failed at that miserably, even on his best days and with good reason. It’s not his place.
In Chapter two of Heart Sisters, Natalie uses an acronym to better answer this question: Cant Ever Imagine Being Friends:
1. Comparison= ” I’ve seen so many friendships either disintegrate or never transpire due to the sneaky lie of comparison.” We compare our marriages, our homes, our jobs, our kids and of course, our appearances.
2. Envy= “If comparisons breathe death, then envy is the cancer that consumes the soul.” Proverbs 14:30 tells us that, A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.
3. Insecurity= “Comparison and envy conspire together to deride our identity, and before we know it, we’ve become a shell of uncertainty. Insecure. Lacking in confidence.” The end result is self-absorption. That produces pain that we can’t even see but we sure feel it.
4. Being Prideful= ” Pride is the stubborn mule that makes us believe they should apologize to us because we’ve done nothing wrong.” (Hold on to your hats for a minute, take a deep breath for the next part, this one got me) “It’s also responsible for tricking it’s victims into believing that once someone has wounded them, that particular someone doesn’t deserve the benefits of reconciliation even if the offender is humble and seeks forgiveness.”
OUCH! Anyone else ever been at that place?
5. Fear: “If pride and lack of humility are the culprits behind dissolving relationships, then we can trace their roots back to the root of fear. So many stems sprout from the seeds of fear. Anxiety. Depression. Pride. Worry. Self-doubt. These stems continue to grow and sprout new branches, and before we even know it, they’ve begun to vine themselves around our health, our relationships and our spiritual beliefs.”
Healthy relationships start with us. You and me.
We can either be women who choose to love others or we can choose to be women who are too busy protecting the drawbridge of our hearts.
It’s a choice. Let’s look for opportunities today to let the bridge down a little.
Heart Sisters are worth the risk.
If you haven’t bought your own copy of Heart Sisters yet, here is the link: http://nataliesnapp.com/books/heart-sisters/