And it happened!

All the things I didn’t want to say spilled out of my mouth anyway.

anger 4

Even though, as tears slipped from my eyes and I lamented in the privacy of my jeep that I wouldn’t…I did! I said all the things I desperately didn’t want to say.

As I drove to the grocery store, the rain falling outside, the storm was raging inside my heart, I didn’t want it to erupt like a volcano into my home. Really, I did not. But, it did.

My pity party didn’t help. As I explained to God that I knew my feelings were unwarranted I didn’t take time to allow His truth to shine light on the dark places my thoughts had taken me. I was caught up in a circle of self! I lost sight of Him!

My to-do list had unraveled and that was all I was able to focus on…MY to-do list.

And even though I said I was not going to explode…I did. Mt. Jodie erupted!

The to-do list won!!!

No one was home to help unload the groceries. But something was waiting for me in the kitchen…that to-do list. It sat right there on the kitchen counter. Not a single item checked off and the storm brewed. And the anger took over. And the selfishness reared it’s ugly head and my poor daughter walked in and caught the brunt of Mt. Jodie erupting!

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All the things I didn’t want to say spilled out of my mouth anyway.

My sweet daughter noted how grumpy I was. Over and over, wow, “someone is grumpy”, she said. Didn’t she get it? I needed help.

Wait…I didn’t exactly ask for help. I wanted to check off my to-do list. Oh goodness!

Later at the dinner table. The one set before 7pm, so all could eat and go to their meetings my daughter seemed so logical as she and I explained to dad that the volcano exploded un-necessarily.

Mom was upset because the laundry room had laundry in it. The shoe closet had shoes outside of it. The dishwasher had dishes in it. I had to laugh, even though her dad pointed out that the shoes were suppose to be in the closet rather than outside the closet. My to-do list sounded a little ridiculous.

What happened? How did the very thing I wanted not to happen…happen? I talked it out with God, didn’t I?

Well…not exactly. I did some talking. I just didn’t do any listening. And later that night my sweet blog friend Cindy Krall (http://doaheadwoman.com/2015/01/listen-or-lose-it-i-get-to-chose-it/ ) gave me words of wisdom to read:

 

I made my mind captive to Christ.

I didn’t feel like it doing it at the time. In fact, quite the opposite.

 

Mental note:“Obeying the voice I hear in my head may not be what I feel like doing.”

 

Mental note:“Keeping my mouth shut helps me keep my ears (especially the ears of my heart) open.”

 

And then I did the thing I wish I did more…

I listened and obeyed.

The following verse popped into my head:

“A wise woman builds hers house, while a foolish one tears it down with her own hands.”

Proverbs 14:1

 

The beautiful wisdom of a friend that shares the truth of the word! My heart was seeing the light, feeling the warmth. And this morning I understood even more. Listen more, talk less, ask for help…It’s in His plan for us to lean on one another. To pick one another up when we fall, when we need help, when we erupt un-necessarily!

“Two are better than one,
    because they have a good return for their labor:
 If either of them falls down,
    one can help the other up.” Ecclesiastes 3:9-10

 

Oh, I’m sorry I let the to-do list overwhelm me. I’m sorry I exploded. I’m thankful for friends and sisters in Christ who shine bright for Christ. Today someone helped my focus shift. Helped me turn my eyes upon Jesus. And you know what the song says? “And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace!”

focus on Jesus

Thank you to all who are there to help each other up!

Jodie