Preparing my heart for Christmas has been a journey of valleys and mountains this year. Each day it seems I have been faced with moments of joy and moments of pain. Many times the two have collided into one another leaving me breathless.
The most recent occurrence of this was three days ago.
Three days ago the joy and pain would collide again.
Saturday evening I was walking and talking with my husband and daughter. We were in the New York city sharing the sights and sounds. Headed to see a show at Madison Square Gardens. My heart was bursting with joy as my sixteen year old daughter held my hand and stole another piece of this momma’s heart. In between steps I would say thank you; not aloud, just my heart whispering to God.
Then the news. There had been a car accident. A dear friend’s sister was not responding. Prayer was needed.
The joy and pain were colliding.
Hours later, the message I did not want to believe, a vibrant life had ended at 25 years of age. A daughter lost, a sister taken, a treasure gone from her family and friends. My heart sank. My mind did not want it to be true.
The pain was overwhelming.
Prayer was needed.
4am I woke up to catch a plane back home. All night I dreamed of my friend, or maybe I just tossed and turned. I wanted to hold her, tell her I loved her and I was sorry she was hurting. Distance separated us but God joined our hearts. Prayer has a way of doing that very thing. 5:52 am I couldn’t deny the Lord’s call anymore to send a message:
“My heart is so heavy for you sweet friend. I am praying for the comfort of God to consume you like never before.”
Seconds later, the response.
“You could not have texted at a more perfect time…I am awake and my heart is hurting…I remember sitting around your table thanking Him for that comfort…this is heart break I’ve never experienced”
Repeatedly this year I have been faced with joy and tragedy revealing itself simultaneously. Continually I search for peace and have found that it comes from trusting without understanding. Many days my only prayer for others is Colossians 3:15, “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts”. A verse I didn’t know before this year and am certain that God planned for me to learn and call on in this year of mountains and valleys.
When the joy and pain collide we need peace.
We need prayer.
We need one another.
I don’t know why my friend lost her sister. I don’t understand. But I trust. I ask God for peace without understanding. My own understanding is not for me to lean on. (Proverbs 3:5)
I trust that God is good, that He loves with an everlasting love and that He is not against us.
The joy and pain are still present.
His peace rules in my heart. Understanding is lacking, but comfort is found.
My friend aches like never before.
As she plans her sister’s funeral, she plans her three small children’s Christmas.
As she prepares to lay her sister to rest, she chooses to name her unborn child Alex after her sister.
As she mourns the loss that cuts deep beyond levels she didn’t know were present, she finds joy in knowing her sister is in her new home with Jesus!
Her early morning text continued saying
“This is heart break I’ve never experienced, how anyone could bear it without knowing His love is unimaginable.”
and today she sent me this verse as she rejoices in the One who holds her sister,
1 Chronicles 29:11, “Yours, LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours.”
The pain and the joy collide.
The pain may be overwhelming.
When the pain and joy collide we need peace. We need trust. We need prayer. We need one another. We need comfort. We need Jesus.
Today I rest in His comfort. My sweet friend rests in His promises. Her sister, Leslie Alexandra Fishel rests in His presence and for that we will rejoice forevermore!
Together her sister, family and friends pray that you know Jesus. Knowing Him, trusting Him, is the key to hope, peace, comfort and eternal life in Heaven.
Honored to share with the permission of Leslie’s family~ Jodie
Such a beautiful tribute to this young woman. It can be so hard to know how to be there for someone in their grief, but sometimes just being the peace in the storm via a text and a kind word can be more uplifting and calming than we may know.
Visiting via the Cheerleading Linkup!
Liz, You are so right! Those small things we can do matter. God tugs sometime at our heart strings so that we just can not deny that He wants us to reach out to others. The body of Christ is an absolute gift! Thank you for being a cheerleader for Him! Jodie
Oh Jodie…so very, very sorry. The paradox is real…”pain and joy collide”. Praying for you and your dear friend.
Thank you for the prayers Cindy!
Jodie this is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing this with us. I do have to say I to am thankful that I know our Lord because during the sad hard time He does provide the comfort and peace that is needed. Leslie will be missed by so very many. All I have thought about since hearing the news on Saturday is her beautiful smile and sweet personality. Prays continuing for the family and friends during this time…
Being able to share is a joy and an honor. I know you trust the power of prayer Angie; keep those prayers lifted!
Beautiful…. The Lord always has a plan and I’m very sure he had a big plan in store for this bubbly young lady!! Prayers for comfort to this family
Donna, there is a perfect plan indeed!!Thank you for the prayers. The family is deeply comforted by them!
this is so beautiful, just reading it I was crying, Leslie was so beautiful, colorful, bright, and she will be missed by many.
Monica, You are right! Leslie will be remembered by many! Her bright smile and contagious joy was a gift to so many!
We will keep Leslie and family in our prayers.
Joide, Wow. Simply amazing and beautiful!
I am from the city where this tragic event occurred, yet I did not know your special one. The tribute you shared here is such a lovely piece of your true heart, and creates a moment of thought provoking pause. I am saddened for everyone who has to endure this loss, yet feel blessed to have read the words that you expressed here. Leslie appeared to be a young soul loved and cared for by many, and I am sure that your words have reached her and her friends at just the right time. Billy Joel was right when he sang,… “Only the good die young “,…and with that…feel the blessing of the ones around your heart today as you mourn the loss of Leslie and know that the community at large is also feeling your pain and praying that understanding will come in time.
If you were closer I would hug you and your soul….instead, I will light a candle in her honor and keep the light burning for all the others that she has joined in heaven that have gone on before us.
Many Tears Will BE SHED over this….even from strangers…..know you are in my prayers.
Thank you Melissa!
Beautiful, my friend. She was such a girl full of smiles & hope. Her presence was energetic & non-judgmental. She loved everyone. And these words you wrote apply to so many. Because without the Faith in our Christ, the love & pain we don’t think can exist together does. His plans are not ours. I don’t know how anyone could experience these “collisions” without Him. So my prayer is not only for peace & comfort, but for those that do not know Christ as their Savior, open their hearts and allow Him to reside. Friend, I love you dearly and and have heartfelt connections with your writings; posts. I’m sharing this not only for those that are mourning her loss, but any loss… because the words are comforting.
Thank you for sharing Michelle and your heart’s prayers align with those of myself and Leslie’s family!
Thank you for this post Jodie. You authentically love. I am so glad the Lord used you here. Love this verse too – Colossians 3:15, “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts”. We either let his love rule or we let anxiety, fear and worry rule. Great reminder.
I did know Leslie but my heart goes out to her family and friends! It’s so sad sending prayers for you all. God is Peace!
So beautifully said! I totally agree with what you said about joy and pain colliding. My daughter & I were out that day, spending time together getting the last of our Christmas shopping done, having lunch together (ironically at the Sonic), talking to friends, just enjoying our day and being together. On our way home, little did we know, what was going to happen next. We were at that very same light/intersection getting ready to turn towards sonic way, and IT happened. Leslie’s life was changed that day, her family’s lives were changed that day, mine & my daughter’s lives were changed that day, along with many others! We pulled over, called for help, then got out and assisted people the best way we knew how & prayed, prayed, prayed & then prayed some more! The images still haunt us & we feel guilty for not doing or being able to do more! It just makes me mad how senseless and preventable all of this could have been! Rest in peace sweet Angel!
A Girl, I Didn’t Know
An Angel, I’ll One Day Meet
Not quite sure why our paths even crossed. Just wanted to say, I’m so sorry. That tragic day, that senseless moment, your precious life was lost.
My thoughts and prayers are with your family and friends. May you rest in peace, and til we meet again.
Rest in peace, Leslie Alexandra Fishel
Yours truly,
Tammy Reickard Jasper
Most beautifully written. Thank you for this. It has touched my heart right where I am. Prayers for this family as they rest in God’s comfort through this most difficult time.m
Reblogged this on Faithfully Following and commented:
This years women’s conference held on May 29th and 30th will include a Memorial Concert in memory of Leslie. A light that left too soon but will be long remembered! We pray you will join us in prayer and at the event!
Thanks for sharing, I needed this today! It’s so true that there can be joy in the midst of pain, we just have to look for it instead of focusing on the pain.
I’m glad it spoke to you Abby!